


감사합니다 [Thank you]

by Rainy_Summer17



Series: Monsta X soft stories [6]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Cute, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Insecure Im Changkyun | I.M, Light Angst, M/M, No Smut, Sweet, burn-out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer17/pseuds/Rainy_Summer17
Summary: Changkyun does a burn out, but luckily, Jooheon is there to help his friend...Maybe it can lead to more.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon
Series: Monsta X soft stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212287
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	1. Side effects

When Changkyun looked down he saw he was shaking. A moment passed during which he wondered if he was hallucinating or if he was really shaking. When was the last time he had actually slept?

Another moment of thought. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago... But he wasn't even sure. He hadn't been sure of much lately, and especially that night. It must have been around 3 am, he thought before he saw the time on his computer. He screamed inwardly noticing that it was already 10:00 am and went back to work. He was due to send the music to their producer in two hours, and he was sure he hadn't felt such a strong adrenaline boost ever since their time on the roller coaster. Well, not that he wasn't used to it. The last few times doing music had been rather hard.

Between events and videos, Changkyun did not even have time to see his friends. He was just working and working nonstop. He hardly had any more fun doing what he liked, he worked as an autopilot, out of habit, which did not prevent errors from creeping into his track. He couldn't even recall the last time he truly talked and joked with his bandmates outside of group activities; he barely saw them outside nowadays.

His eyes were almost closing on their own now, and even without looking, he knew this time that his hands were actually shaking; he felt the force of it. His head was aching, horribly aching, and he hated the feeling. It was still there, however, that he liked it or not, and there wasn't much to make it go away. He could only wait, but God knows how long he needed to; it could be either minutes or hours.

Nevertheless, Changkyun hated himself even more for the evenings spent, alone, depressed, in his studio or little dorm room. These evenings then led to last-minute work and a series of sleepless nights. He no longer had the energy for anything. He wanted to let go, screw everything up and go into a coma to rest, but unfortunately, he had responsibilities. He had to improve his music at all costs! He had to be the best he could be.

_ Why work so hard when you do a shitty job? What does it bring you? _

He ignored his brain. He had started this work out of passion, where had it gone? He couldn't give up. Monbebes expected something from him, supported him, and they wanted something even better from Changkyun. He couldn't let them all down like that. They made him who he was today, gave him the chance to live his dream; one that only a few could actually realize. Letting down would be horrible for all those who supported him and waited for him.

His stomach growled, a sign that he had eaten very little in recent days. He tried not to dwell on it, returning his gaze to the blue screen of his computer. Changkyun felt kind of sick, something he was used to lately. As the seconds passed, his hands started to shake more and he swore at them. 

Then, everything was blurry around him, suddenly, and he felt his vision darken.

_ What is going on? _

He didn't have time to understand that he sank into unconsciousness, his head heavily touching his keyboard and his wooden desk.


	2. Not fine

Light entered Changkyun's irises in a rather gentle way as he awoke. A few seconds passed and he finally began to understand the universe around him. He could recognize his white walls, and the stack of mangas on his bookshelf, close to his desk. The black curtains covering his window, and therefore, his precious sleep and eyes. He was in his own room, and he didn't understand what he was doing there. He had absolutely no memory of coming home, what was he even doing before waking up?

Music! He was working on the group's future title track. Fuck, he had to finish it! Just the thought of walking to the studio, having to finish the track, then getting home  _ again,  _ and having to socialize...He loved his bandmates, missed them, but he had no energy to talk to anyone. Anyway, Changkyun had to get up and get going.

When the young guy tried to get up, he was quick to fall as soon as he set a foot on the ground. Gravity and a pair of arms caught up with him. Above him, a round full face and big doe eyes, shining with worry. Changkyun knew this expression by heart, knew who those hazel eyes belonged to. He was very, very surprised to see them from so close so suddenly.

**"Jooheon?"**

Changkyun hadn't seen his friend close-up like that in many weeks. Hadn't felt those arms around him lately, which was rare considering how cuddly Jooheon was. But there he was, standing in front of him, or rather holding him in his arms. He had that worried look on his face as he sweetly pushed one strand of hair off Changkyun's face, and the latter had to admit he had missed being close to his hyung that way. There was something so warm and soothing about him like he was home.

" **Changkyun, are you okay?"**

The said man had missed that voice. Calm, sweet, but with a unique tone that I.M could recognize between 1000. He had always loved his hyung's voice; so warm and comforting, sounding so melodious. To be honest, Changkyun had missed everything about the redhead. Especially those strong and infinitely warm arms that the youngest wouldn't mind feeling wrapped around him every night.

_ What the fuck am I saying now? I really need to sleep once I'm done with work before I get too delusional. _

Changkyun opened his mouth to answer a yes as Joohoney laid him down on the sheets again. The words got stuck in his throat and suddenly he couldn't say anything.

_ Saying yes would be horribly lying. _

Changkyun hated more than anything to reveal his feelings, especially the deepest ones. The idea of saying no annoyed him, made him want to hide; but that of lying to his close friend hardly enchanted him. Jooheon had always been good at reading people, understanding them without them even speaking, and always there to help-Changkyun didn't even wonder what he was doing there. In fact, yes, a little, but that was not his main concern. He didn't want to lie to him, knew Jooheon would see right through it, but he also didn't know what to say to make it seem more okay than it actually was. He needed to get back to work and he knew that, if he was worried about his well-being, his older friend would not let him go.

**"Hey oh, earth to Changkyun!"**

The older man's hand moving in front of his face raised terror in him. What to answer? 

He began to cry.


	3. Fever

Joohoney's face lit up with concern and he hastened to embrace his friend and whisper sweet words to him. Changkyun's frail body trembled in his arms and his tears stained the young redhead's top, who tried in vain to comfort his sidekick. Changkyun hated crying more than anything, he felt so embarrassed and lost, but angry too. Against the world, against itself; this made his tears redouble. But his friend didn't judge him, kept him against him by saying nice things to him that eventually calmed him down. Jooheon was probably the best at calming him down in all situations; though he loved all his members, Jooheon had always been the guy he was the closest to and the one that understood him the most. Changkyun knew he would never be judged.

Lifting his head, he met his colleague's shining hazel eyes. The latter ran a hand through his hair then came to dry his tears, and the maknae was surprised at the absence of any remark on his oily hair. He hadn't washed them for days, which was unusual with him. Jooheon nevertheless gave him a soft smile and took his hand. Changkyun let himself be caught, and they went to the kitchen. It was impeccable and the latter felt his jaw drop. 

Though he lived with Kihyun, who was a complete clean freak, the man had started passing most of his time by his boyfriend's side in the other dorm. Not really a problem for Changkyun, who only came back there to sleep. Minhyuk, too, started going more and more to the other guys' dorm, which left Changkyun alone. As the days went by, the dishes started getting stacked in the sink. It wasn't anything too bad, but it was dirtier than the youngest had ever seen considering who he lived with. I.M never really had the energy to clean, therefore let it just all go, and now, the kitchen was as it was before. Not anything magic, but he found out that in addition to cleaning, the redhead had cooked.

The sweet smell of pancakes invaded the kitchen, under the gaze and the sweet smile of his friend. The little one sat down, thanking Joohoney in a small voice that the latter found adorable.

**"You're welcome Changkyunnie,"** he punctuated with a big smile. Changkyun choked on his food.

The rouge spreading over his cheeks as he ate in silence. His body was singing with happiness to finally receive good hot food after so long of eating quick and cheap pre-heated food. His hyung was a good cook, and the fact he was there, way too kind, helping him...

**"Changkyun, do you want to watch a movie?"**

Jooheon's voice was soft, and Changkyun felt that was not what his friend meant, but he didn't argue. He felt like his friend really wanted to talk about something else instead...But watching a movie seemed way much better for the moment.

**"Uh, yeah, yeah, that sounds good to me…"**

**"Perfect, I will prepare things while you finish eating!"**

Changkyun watched his friend disappear into the living room. A soft smile spread over his lips; he had really missed Joohoney.


	4. Home

Nestled in Jooheon's neck, Changkyun felt quite comfortable. The film might have been in his half, but he paid very little attention to it, instead enjoying that well-deserved rest. He didn't want to get up, or continue editing his track; he wanted to stay there forever. He thought that Joohoney had always been a comfort to him, his "safe space", of sorts. A second home, the shoulder on which he could rest and forget everything. The friend he could always count on, who would move immediately if Changkyun called him in the earliest hours of the morning for anything. The one with the double his keys, the one he blindly trusted. If comfort and home were a person, it would be the main rapper without a doubt. With his endlessly kind heart, his smile that lit a fire in Changkyun's heart, those dimples he'd poke all day, his positive personality that always pushed him forward…The younger really didn't know what he would do without his favorite hyung by his side.

Then, the arm around his waist tightened slightly, and he felt his honey-hyung turn his face to him. He looked rather serious, determined and a bit anxious as he started speaking:

**"Changk-"**

Maybe the latter was a bit too lost in his thoughts, because he simply could not help the few words that left his mouth at the simple vision of his best friend.

**"I love you Jooheon, do you know that?"**

Jooheon's face showed a shocked expression. He didn't expect to be told such words. Well, not that it was the first time that Changkyun had told him I love you, no, but the sincerity he was showing at the moment... All this gentleness, this calm, this languid smile… Jooheon had never seen his friend so laid back and relaxed, so honest before; it was du jamais vu.

" **U-uh, me too Changkyun, but uh…"**

A finger rested on his lips, cutting him off immediately. It was shocking to see Changkyun like that, and idly, the older man wondered if his friend had smoked weed or something like that before to be...Like that.

**"Just let me sleep on you... Stay there…"**

Changkyun' soft, begging voice capsized him and he hugged him a little more. He couldn't resist him, could never resist anything to their sweet, loving maknae. He always worked so hard, always gave the best of himself and fully deserved that sweet rest, whenever and wherever he wanted to; so it was on Jooheon's chest.

**"Okay, sleep well Kyunnie,"** whispered his friend in his ear, sweetly. Nestled once more in his neck, inhaling his natural scent he loved so much, Changkyun felt safe. He fell asleep like that, clinging to Joohoney's shirt as if his life depended on it. It was the best he felt in days, hell, weeks.


	5. Killing me

The awakening was more brutal this time for Changkyun, who immediately closed his eyes under the rays of the sun. The youngest felt all groggy, mouth dry, and eyes hurting. At his side, Jooheon who was going in circles, trying to find the words, the way to express his concerns, and to push his friend to express himself. He immediately noticed the way the young rapper got up with a bang to rush to his computer, almost falling to the ground. The maknae didn't seem to care and only sat against the computer chair as he opened the device, desperate to finish what he let down the day before. 

**-Changkyun!**

The called-in didn't even turn his head, looking panicked. It was almost pure fear in his eyes, mixed with disappointment and shame. Jooheon knew very well what that look meant, and what Changkyun would answer...Yet he hoped to believe that his friend would not be his usual self and come to his senses about that shitty idea of his.

" **I love you a lot man, but I'm a little busy now, can you come back later? Or if you really want, stay here, but I have to finish my new tra-"**

Jooheon sighed realizing that, of course, his friend said the same old shit he heard a million times and he didn't have any time to lose with that. Changkyun's computer was quickly closed, and he knew it would anger the younger, but there wasn't any choice. Jooheon knew way too well what it was like to overwork yourself to a non-return point, and he certainly didn't want his bandmate to go to the same point as him-be forced to do a hiatus. The main rapper would make sure it wouldn't happen, his gaze hard and serious as he stared down at Changkyun. It was a look the latter had never been on the receiving end to before.

**"Damn, Jooheon, what's wrong with you?! I-"**

The smaller man got cut once more, by a visibly annoyed Jooheon. He seemed to have reached the end of his infinite patience.

**"As for myself, I'm doing very well! But not you Changkyun! Damn, look at your condition! How long has it been since you took a shower?! No one has heard from you, not even your mother! You passed out on your fucking computer you're doing so much shit these days! I have already warned the managers and staff that the track would be postponed for personal and health reasons, and there is no negotiation! So you get up and take a fucking shower!"**

The younger boy almost fell from his chair at these words. Jooheon seemed angry and this was not usual with the older one. Their main rapper was someone very bubbly and positive, always calm. The most he got was sulky, and he was loud but never angry and vulgar as he had been just then.

Despite his immense desire to retort, Changkyun did not find the strength under that hard gaze. He went to take a shower as quickly as possible, especially to avoid more scary scoldings. As the running water reverberated in the walls, Joohoney let out a long sigh before dropping onto the couch. He hadn't wanted to shout at his friend, but the latter left him little choice. He worried greatly about his condition and didn't like to see it so destroyed. A discussion was needed for when he returned from the shower.


	6. I don't wanna, wanna be up, up no more

Changkyun had almost forgotten how beneficial a good shower was. He felt his muscles relax under the water as if the pressure was relieving his aching body. Nevertheless, there remained apprehension of his future discussion with the redhead. He suspected his hyung was waiting for him at that moment, probably thumping his foot on the floor like he always did when stressed. Changkyun thought for a few seconds that he knew too much about his friend and his futile little habits. As if a part of his brain was dedicated to storing lots of useless little information about Jooheon...

He then thought no more and let his head go blank. He was in pain all over, his body screaming at him to stop everything; he could not. Anxiety mounted in him again at the thought of his unfinished track, but he shoved it away. There was nothing he could do about it; not with Joohoney in his home. He knew the boy would kill him if he only tried to approach his computer again, and seeing how annoyed he seemed to be, Changkyun didn't even want to try. After all, his friend was the one there to help him, so he should at least listen to him a little...

About ten minutes passed and Changkyun entered the living room, freshly washed and silky hair. He watched his friend's sagging expression and was filled with a sense of guilt. He knew this tune well; the one Jooheon displayed when he was worried. His anger from earlier had been an unwitting subterfuge to mask his worry and pain. The redhead had always been the type to care about everyone, see a little too much, and especially his friends. The little one realized that his colleague had left his house to come to his, take care of him, even do the housework, when he must have a lot to do on his side. He sacrificed his time to make sure Changkyun was okay, and Changkyun immediately urged himself to work. He felt so guilty.

Changkyun took a seat next to his friend, looking at the ground. He felt his gaze on him, but didn't say anything, he waited for his sidekick to speak.

**"Changkyun, do you know what date it is?"**

Said boy shook his head from side to side, signifying his negative answer. Joohoney's voice was calmer this time, but he still didn't look up. It looked as if he was trying to gather his thoughts.

**"You see? You lose track of time. It's serious! What's going on with you?"**

The maknae took a few seconds to think. What to say? Did he want to talk about it? How to explain these feelings in him? It was so complicated to say, to explain, and Changkyun wasn't even sure he actually knew what was going on. Everything was kind of blurry.

**"I'm tired,"** Changkyun blurted out.

The incomprehension was clear on Joohoney's face, as was the worry still present. Yet, it was obvious that Jooheon feared to understand what was going on-He feared to get told the own things he himself thought and lived before. He would never want anyone passing through that; especially his sweet, perfect Changkyunnie that he loved so much.

**"That's all? That doesn't make sense, man. If you're tired, go to sleep, why are you working so hard?"**

Changkyun scratched the back of his neck, searching for his words as he met his counterpart's gentle gaze. He knew the main rapper would understand him; he always did. Without even a word, Jooheon was able to get exactly what Changkyun wanted to say. It had been going on for years, after no mercy, it was as if the two boys were soulmates. But he still found it hard to express himself in such a situation.

**"No, but, not like tired in I want to sleep way, more like..."** Changkyun inhaled, gaze scattering around the room.  **"Kind of everything. I don't want to work anymore, I... I don't even have fun doing what I do anymor3, you know? But I can't let it all go. I have a long way to go, I wasn't good enough lately on stage and in the studio, I can't just let my job be so inadequate, I do shit and... And...**

His words didn't come more than that, it was so hard to explain. A little ashamed, too. He was holding his breath as he looked at the ground.

**"You want to stop?"**

**"No... Well... Yes, I... I don't know…"**

A hand rested on his back and stroked it gently. There was this thing in Jooheon's gaze, endlessly kind as always, and understanding. Because he just knew what it felt like.

**"Do you like what you do? Making music, performing in front of people, on all those big stages, and having all those opportunities...Do you like it?"**

  
  


**"Of course! It has always been my dream, I gave up so much for that, and I can't believe the luck I have, especially after no mercy, to be here today...Of course, I like what I do…"**

Changkyun was trying to understand himself. Nothing made sense in his head. He loved what he was doing, performing in front of people, writing songs, filming video clips was so much fun, and rapping so freely...It was all he ever dreamed about, truly. So why wasn't he satisfied? Why would you want to quit and feel so tired?

**"You give yourself too much, Changkyun. Your work is correct as it is. No need to work until the earliest hours of the morning and take 8 cups of coffee to produce good content. Calm down, balance your schedule to have adequate work and rest time. You will feel better. Work less hard, don't stress yourself and you will be fine. I know what it feels like, but...I'm honestly glad I took this rest right now. I know it would've ended up bad if I didn't go on a hiatus. And see, today, I'm okay. I don't think you're on the point of a hiatus, and I really don't want you to be. You matter to me a lot, I don't wanna see you in such a bad state. I love you too much to be able to see you hurt."**

These words touched Changkyun in the heart, but in the right way. He felt all the benevolence of Jooheon towards him and felt how much he cared for his well-being. His words were full of common sense, and Changkyun told himself he was going to try. Jooheon was right, he had to take care of himself. Inside, he was also amazed at how someone other than his own mom could care so much about him-but infinitely glad.

**-And I know it's stressing you out, so let's edit your track together tonight. But first, take a rest. I will help you. I'll be there for you.**

Changkyun nodded. He felt much less anxious now and silently thanked his friend. It was going to be okay.

He was pretty sure of it, when he fell asleep against Jooheon's chest a bit later, warm arms holding him tight. 


	7. Thanks

The days passed, slowly but surely, and the maknae recovered from this low mood he had before. He often had visits from his redhead friend, who arrived unexpectedly with a coffee, croissants, or a little something. He helped him a lot with work, but also helped him to rest, to find a normal and healthy balance of life for him. Changkyun was once again becoming the bubbly boy he had always been. Moreover, all of this had allowed the two boys to become even closer than they already were. It was another of those mornings when Joohoney would appear in his friend's dorm, coffee, and muffin in hand. While the two were working on a song that they planned to do together, Changkyun turned his head to observe Jooheon. He was doing some research on his phone for a rhyme, his eyes riveted on the screen. He was beautiful, in the sunlight coming through the window. His eyes were brighter, deeper as well. Changkyun thought that he could happily get lost in it. Jooheon was truly his safe place, his source of comfort and happiness. He owed him a lot, but how to thank him? He was grateful to him beyond words, and for so many things. A simple hug was definitely not enough, as was a thank you.

The redhead looked up, a soft smile on his rosy lips when he met Changkyun's gaze. He grabbed his cup of coffee, taking a sip.

**"Joo,"**

The latter raised his head, put down his cup. He was only a few centimeters from the maknae, their gaze plunged into each other. Changkyun moved closer, timidly until their lips melted in a kiss that took both of their breaths away. Their lips parted after a few moments, and the brunet smiled softly.

**-Thank you, Jooheon.**

Soon enough, those two adorable dimples he loved so much appeared on his honey-hyung's face. Yeah, he'd be okay.


End file.
